wine

Jun. 17th, 2006 09:11 am
rwx: (Default)
[personal profile] rwx
it always makes me laugh when i see the expression 'hand-picked winelist' or 'hand-picked wines' advertising a restaurant.

It's as if they're trying to imply that other restaurants have their wines picked by vicious wine-picking robots out to destroy humanity, octopi and other things with tentacles, or some guy who uses his feet.

Date: 2006-06-17 05:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fascistfashion.livejournal.com
I would pay a good bit extra for a wine advertised as being picked by vicious robots. Better yet, [immigrants/prisoners/rich white people] locked into cruel exoskeletons that move their arms in order to pick the grapes featuring a huge flip-clock style counter over their head counting down the number of grapes left until bedtime. Of course every now and then the whole contraption would tip over, resetting the counter to 9999. I'd pay $100 a bottle for that.

That feet guy, not so much.

Date: 2006-06-17 05:41 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Down with automated, mechanized wine-picking! It's an outrage!
From: [identity profile] vorona.livejournal.com
Down with automated, mechanized wine-picking! It's an outrage!

Date: 2006-06-17 06:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dr-strych9.livejournal.com
It actually means something to a wine afficionado.

It means that somebody on the staff at the restaurant sat down and tasted every single one of the wines on the wine menu in the process of picking the labels. Most restaurants don't have anyone on staff with the [insert buzzphrase here] to do that, so they just select one of the programmed packages offered by the distributor, which may or may not complement the food menu any better than hand-picking would. On the other hand, with "hand-picked" wines on the menu, you can go into the restaurant, order a big dinner, chat up the sommelier. and feel like you're learning valuable information.

Yes, wine afficionados can be extremely pissy people.

Date: 2006-06-18 02:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sculptruth.livejournal.com
Yeah, while I like the idea of robots with tentacles lovingly stomping the grapes into wine, the menu should actually read: "hand selected wines" and the more attentive Sommalier will author the menu to say this.

(I imagine the wee green unripe heirloom variety bottles being left on the vine to ripen further.)



Date: 2006-06-18 04:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rwx.livejournal.com
nanotechnology means that quartz ovipositors *can* grow on trees.

Date: 2006-06-18 04:21 am (UTC)

Date: 2006-06-18 05:37 am (UTC)
ext_8707: Taken in front of Carnegie Hall (cornholio)
From: [identity profile] ronebofh.livejournal.com
"Our wines are selected by a Markov chain."

Date: 2006-06-18 07:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] antje23.livejournal.com
Ha!

I suddenly see Kraftwerk-esque robots picking out wine to "we are the robots..."

Date: 2006-06-19 05:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chenobie.livejournal.com
*LOL*!!! never quite thought of it that way. . .

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